Unless you’re Lil’ Wayne, New Year's Eve is a perpetual letdown. Too expensive, too crowded, too hard to get a cab, too anticlimactic, too much douchery. Here are some things I’d rather do with my time besides going out on New Year's Eve:
Making a red vine into a straw at a movie
Playing 18 holes of golf (Golden Tee)
Re-ordering my pantry while drinking beers
Scratching my athlete's foot
Going to Chili's
TPing houses
Watching TV at the gym while riding the stationary bike really slow
Deleting files on my computer
Coming up with new hopes and dreams
Facebook stalking
Dominating old people in Bingo
Trying to finish a medium level song on Guitar Hero
Correctly naming all the songs in my iTunes called "track 1"
Finishing a Grisham while taking a Grisham
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